Central Park Rangers FC

With Coach Sewards away on business the Reserves looked to the dynamic managerial duo of Charlie Linehan and Nikle Guzijan to lead them to victory. After watching 17 hours of film, 4 weeks of scouting, and having Kandia’s top 2 reserves picked off by the Serbian Militia, Coach Linehan and Coach Guzijan were ready to put the best looking team the cosmopolitan league has ever seen on pitch. Between Toks’ 94 abdominal muscles and Mazzi’s $600 Tom Ford sunglasses, Kandia knew they were outmatched from the start. Good pressure from the start helped the Reserves get a few good looks at goal, and maintain much of the possession, but found themselves unable to finish anything in the first half. Two great saves by keeper Jay “Liberty” Bell kept Kandia off the scoreboard as well and a 0-0 score at halftime. However the second half was ours for the taking and capitalize we did. After Changing our lineup to 11 starters named “Alex” the reserves really threw Kandia for a loop. New guy Gary “The Big” Mac found himself open on the left wing mid way through the half. Collecting a through ball as relaxed as Christiano Ronaldo in a Tuesday night threesome, Gary Mac buried the ball in the bottom right hand corner to give the reds a well deserved 1-0 lead. Coach Linehan and Guzijan turned their attention to defense and looked to Toks and Mark “Married” Edmunds to hold down the middle of the pitch and keep Kandia off the board. And that they did. A few last minute saves by Jay Bell kept Kandia with the goose egg and the reds reserves with a hard earned victory.

Final Score: Reds Reserves 1 Kandy Kanes 0

Man of the Match: Jay Bell

Honorable Mention: TOKSSSSSSSSS

Go Away and Don’t Come Back Til March Please Award: Mark Edmunds

The Reds game didn’t start til about 1am but that didn’t stop Coach Eduardo Mazzi from putting his best 11 on the pitch and ready for battle. A dirty little bunch of Kandians had the Reds worried about the health of their ankles from the start. But all that backfired midway through the first half when Ciaran “London” Friel collected the ball in the box, dished it off, and then was foolishly taken down on a late tackle. Looking to seize the opportunity for his chance at glory, Nikle stepped up, gelled his hair, blew a kiss to the ladies on the sideline, and made the score 1-0 Reds. Keeper Eric Wunsch kept Kandia off the board with some solid saves to maintain the lead, however a brief lapse of judgement in the back let a Kandy Apple run through and finish a cross to even the score at 1. Minutes later the reds found themselves down 2-1 on a fluke goal and their heads down. But halftime was around the corner and Coach Mazzi was ready to get his team back in action. With a halftime speech that resembled something out of “Remember the TItans” the Reds were fired up to get back on the pitch. With the help of new guy Greg, Johnny “65 yard shot” Porges, and Charlie “Liberal” Linehan….The Reds were able to hold their first 2nd half shutout of the season (Drops our 2nd half goals against average down to 3.8). New Englishman Tim found himself on a through ball from “London” Friel and was able to score his 37th goal in 2 games. Minutes later Robby “Toledo” Chilton almost gave the reds a 3-2 lead but a fantastic save by the Kandia keeper left the score 2-2. A terrible offsides call and a strong verbal disagreement between Nikle and the Ref ….left him with a “red for the reds” and the team down to 10 men. The Reds held on and broke the ice with their first point of the season.

Final Score: Reds – 2 Kandia – 2

Man of the Match: Ciaran “London” Friel

Honorable Mention: Johnny Porges

The bar scene was one for the ages as new guys Tim, Alex, Gary Mac, and Greg took their first of many Jager Bombs. With Columbus day in hand the Reds and Reds Reserves were at Central til the weeeeee hours of the morning. Charlie and Roddy went head to head with some typical “McCain vs Obama” rants, and Charlie earned his 2nd victory of the day as Roddy went from supporting McCain to Ron Paul to Real Madrid to Barack Obama in the course of 2 hours. AND LADIES LOOK OUT…. new guy Greg “The Studly Vegan” is here to stay as he is undefeated at Central Bar this season (anybody there knows what I mean).